Home Is Where My Heart Lies

I've been on tour since february 12th. I've had no breaks since then
and won't have any until august 15th. that's a hell of a way to start
off 2010. 7 months of nothing but touring. 4 US tours, 1 European
tour, 1 Japan tour and Warped tour. I've been playing bass a lot but
it'll be nice to just have a job working for a band and guitar
teching. my give 110% every night attitude is unforuantely catching up
to me. my bumps and bruises have turned to scars and I'm overall sore.
I'm not complaining at all because I wouldn't want it any other way.
if I'm not doing this 100% or more then what's the point of doing it
at all. my life is quite the crazy roller coaster. I go from van to
van, from sprinter to bus and back to van as if that's normal. i've
never been more thankful for where I am in life and what I have then I
am right now. I think sometimes when you have a brush with death it
makes you open your eyes and see the little things you were ignoring
before. well I've cheated death twice and I can honestly say the
smallest things mean the most to me. I've regretted nothing and given
almost everything to be where I am today. your life is what you make
it and mines pretty fucking cool. peace.

picture update.

my crotch


lyle


caught in a corner


my alligator friend.

i'll upload ones once i get them developed.
see ya soon.

12/24/09

i don't even know why i bother writing in this anymore. i feel like i'm completely over sharing what's going on in my life and it's seems real unimportant to others. so with that in mind, i think i'm just going to stop writing in this thing. i won't stop for good but it's not like it used to be. i hate facebook and refuse to sign up for it. i still have myspace but it seems that isn't cool anymore. twitter is only fun to me and way to many people take it very personal, which turns me off substantually. my life right now is in a very wierd spot. i'm actually for once making money and doing my own thing. the connections i have sometimes make me feel very humble and fortunate that i can do something like this. i know it won't last forever because well nothing does. i think i'm going to ride this one out. since getting back from europe i've really analyzed my priorities in life and i am happy. my feelings of hate aren't as strong and outwardly. i'm satisfied with just living my life and doing me because at the end of the day, i'm my own best friend and worst enemy. so here's to everyone who ever said i was a loser, nobody, piece of shit, ugly, reject, talentless hack. i'm only still going because you were and will always be my greatest motivation. blue skies and the biggest smiles, where does your road take you?

last day of tour

i came, i saw, i conquered the uk and europe. i'm stoked to have been able to do this tour it was with all my best friends and nothing will compare to it. the future is looking bright and i'm siked to see where it takes me and my friends. i left the states on the 22nd of november and now i'll be flying home from london on the 22nd of december but there might be a chance i get snowed in here and won't make christmas. who knows though i'm keeping my fingers crossed. hope when i get back it's just fun times and hang outs and cluck u chicken. til then 1 and be safe.

delicious.

me outside nando's in london.
just sayin.
yea.

truth.

sometimes i feel like my life is better then yours. other times i know it.

where ever the wind takes me

long story short.
i leave tomorrow for the uk/europe tour.
i'm stoked on finally getting over there.
the afi tour was insane.
made good friends and had a blast.
the dag nasty cover in philly was awesome.
no concern about anything else but happiness.
i got a new camera and will be documenting my travels more now.
sweet.
here's my test subject.


see ya soon.

re-evaluate the message

where is that one person you want the most when you really need them? i've asked myself this numerous times and have yet to even come up with a justified answer. it is that i'm scared or just unwilling to except my place? i know i'm good at what i do. yes i believe in myself to an extent, but i'm just so turned off by jealousy or obsession. when people talk too much or create this fake persona it's so easy for me to see through it. with some people i just want to slap them and say, "hey, look i know and i get it, but you're not fooling anyone, especially me." is it even worth it though? in the long run i'll be completely okay with being me and still feel sorry for all those who are just pretending to be something. here i am, 24 years old, doing what i want and having a blast. i'm siked to look to back on these times and think, "man i'm experiencing so much and learning a ton along the way. i'm really blessed." i guess at the end of the day, what it really comes down to is, there's a lot of people in my life that are flat out useless and don't mean anything to me. let's see, i'll break down every aspect of my life and weed out the things i don't need. music - awesome. friends - awesome. family - awesome. anything else i'm missing? yes. no comment.

feelings

what's the point of love?

it hurts too much.

it's constricting and harbors my thoughts.

bring back peace or proceed with death.

my fore fathers would be disappointed.

forward ever, backward never

no peace.