it's was only a dream. i could have sworn it was reality. my senses were tingling and i was feeling every high, and more rapidly, every low. i awoke to find myself sleeping in an empty room. the clock reads 9:30. i've been sleeping for 3 days now? impossible. or is it? i don't remember her leaving. she must've slipped out the window while i drifted into dreamland. the problem with dreams is you never fully can experience them in your worldly life. it's just a portrait illustraited in your head. the blues will never be as blue as the water you sip from. the reds will never feel like the reds you were trying to hold in your chest. the black will always be there. no matter how hard you try, nothing will every shine forever. you're only salvation in this life, is yourself. be greedy. be selfish. do things for yourself and then think of others. you crawl out of a hole on your own. it should always be this way. you make your bed, and you must lay in it. most men spend days, even years, running in circles trying to impress a crowd of unknown critics but to no avail. the side show of hopeless romantics, balance feverishly on the line of infidelity, only to find they are truly not all one could hope for. this constant cycle is what keeps the world turning. the winners will always win and the losers will always lose. when there are riches to be had and made, there will also always be bottoms to hit. when species set themselves atop a pedestal, they tend to forget how they got there. whether by force, by intelligence, or just by sheer luck, they always seem to misplace their loyalties. growing up privileged shouldn't mean you have to always keep that silver (or gold) spoon in your own mouth. if one is capable of sharing, but doesn't, who is to blame? the person or the upbringing? guilt makes a man say he's sorry, blindness of heart makes a man crumble. approaching every situation with ease is no way to live your life. there is a belief that rings true with so many of simple minded human beings. you can scream and scream all you want, but if you're not saying anything worth listening to, then what's the point? if you want to stand for something, then stick with it. don't hop trends and jump on the cool bandwagon. do it for yourself. if it means looking different, then wear whatever article of clothing you feel. if it means acting different, then say what it is that's inside you. dance around in a grocery store, skip across an intersection. if you have the audacity to do what the masses deem popular, then you, yourself, are a sheep. never become a sheep to someone else's mind. remember, no matter who you think is cool, no matter who you aspire to be, those people are still going to sleep at night a person. they aren't a god, nor are they any different from you or i. fame isn't something that's only achievable by those who act, sing, or look cool. it's for anyone who is remembered for what they do and the impact they had on the ones they loved. chances are anyone who reads this will think i'm trying to change the world with this passage here. in reality, i'm simply going to sleep alone and i'm going to try and wake up tomorrow and fix the things i've ruined along the way. i am nothing special, i'm just a man, who's felt the insecurities of the harsh eye. lovers behave, the world needs more leaders.