hey hey hey

everything is just great. i can't even begin to explain it.

holding grudges seem so childish now a days.

i'm in a good place right now and i couldn't be happier.

no more faking smiles, or trudging towards a not so hopeful day, none of that.

it's all on the up and up.

i don't know why i didn't see it earlier. i guess sometimes i blind myself instead of opening my eyes to what's really going on.

i wasn't me for the longest time, but i seem to come around a lot less without you.

crazy how once you put your life into perspective how things tend to fall into place.

my feelings aren't hurt, i'm actually back to normal i believe.

to anyone that reads this, i hope you're doing good and your life is great.

i don't wish the worst anymore.

tour starts on the 27th and i couldn't be anymore excited.

i have a full plate in front of me and i can either decide to eat up or excuse myself because i'm full.

i'm taking this day by day from here on out.

life's way too short to waste it on liars, cheaters, and haters.

keep doing you and i'll keep doing me.

i hope there's pictures of me playing bass for alpha and omega from this upcoming tour because there will be some nice shirts worn as i'll try to shout out as many close friends as i possibly can. 

i probably won't write in this til tour starts, so until then, goodbye.

1/7/2009

Crazy how I feel,
living without you
Inside this house that we built.
It seems like the windows
Finally open
Letting the memories out

Go on and love him
Love him forever
I will not tell him 
I told you to
You’ll never know dear 
How much I loved you
Lovin’s for fools
Lovin's for fools

Maybe you’ll find me 
Walking the garden
Looking for something pure.
Roots that are growing, 
Deeper and deeper
Mabey you’ll pull them too.

where's your head?

it's so strange that i can't think of one person i hate.

i mean i dislike a lot of people and i could go without ever seeing most, but i'm so far beyond hating people anymore.

it's weird, that once you meet someone who makes you happy, things tend to change in your head.

i'm currently working, getting jobs left and right, and looking into the future.

past stay past, future is future.

forwards ever, backwards never.

love's made me blind, love's made me feel alive, love's made me depressed. 

everyone choses their own demise, i think i'll save mine for another meltdown.

no thanks, life.......it's a weird thing.

body rolling

what started off as fun, has now turned serious.

i couldn't be any happier then i am right now.

this mix is what i've been liste​ning to

for the past week.​

tequi​la mocki​ngbir​d - brook​lyn basem​ent
chris​ brown​ - take you down
trey songz​ ft. twist​a - just gotta​ make it
black​stree​t - we gonna​ take you back
black​stree​t - befor​e i let you go
mya ft. jay-​z - best of me (​remix​)​
mos def - ms. fat booty​
mos def - my umi says
nas - just a momen​t
fabol​ous ft. ne-​yo - make me bette​r
usher​ ft. young​ jeezy​ - love in this club
usher​ - u remin​d me
allur​e ft. 112 - all cried​ out
justi​n timbe​rlake​ - my love
justi​n timbe​rlake​ - summe​r love/​set the mood

hate all you want,​ no care whats​oever​.​

someone makes me feel good, someone makes me laugh, and someone makes me quite happy i'm where i'm at currently.

can you guess the 3 people?

guess what?

she likes me.

nyc weekend = perfect

having someone new in my life = perfect

things looking up = perfect

anything bringing me down = not likely

in with the new, out with old.

one man's trash is another man's treasure. hahha

okay bye.

recap.

went to my aunt's, hung out, then came home.

opened a few cards and got jeans from my mom.

woke up the next day ate food and went to my cousins.

got to see my new best friend, faith.

after that came home and somehow ended up like this,

wow.

what an unreal week. i can't even begin to explain it.

most of the time it was spent doing absolutely nothing and i loved every single moment of it.

i can't even begin to describe what is going through my head.

i should've just opened my eyes. she's awesome.

that's an understatement honestly. 

i'm not worrying about it right now.

when the time is right, i'll scream it from the highest mountain and everyone will know.

until then, only cox will have an idea of what i'm talking about. hahaah.

yea besides that, things are looking pretty good right now.

playing bass for a&o at the end of january.

short east coast run with tt/europe with tt in february. 

sxsw in march with either tt or a&o.

possible full us with a&o playing bass in march as well.

who knows things are looking pretty good.

possible warped tour, and other big things going down.

for once i'm actually in love with where i'm at.

i've copped some feelings. it's cool.

until next time, peace i love and miss you.

update.

it's been so long since i've said anything this real.

but i think i might have found the girl of my dreams.

speechless.

i've been keeping busy as much as possible.

trying to make things happen for myself.

it's so hard to rely on and trust other people, especially those who say they are there for you.

people who have to say they are friends, aren't truly friends.

if you have to try something as simple as friendship, then it will never work.

this was bound to happen but i think it's a blessing in disguise.

spoken clearly, i was taken advantage of, but no more.

peace, i love and miss you.

much needed vacation

What else in this room reminds me of you?
The windowsill with a crucified pit of an avocado still sits in water.
What else in this room reminds me of the relationship I've ruined.
The tables I made strong enough to hold your magazines,
But not your tired legs.
One more week in this apartment,
One more week of being haunted by the ghost of what should have been.
What else in this fucking empty room reminds me of fucking you?
An orphaned couch where I spent some long nights
While you went out with our friends.
What I wouldn't do to be a ghost like you, to be somewhere new.
To leave everything,
The way you left everything that reminded you of me.
One more week in this apartment, one more week of being haunted.